May 28, 2017 3:20am
911 is called. The next 24 hrs are a whirlwind. I stayed calm as I knew this was important in getting Michael the help he needed. He was unresponsive but hearing so many crazy stories and people coming out of it, I was sure Michael could beat this. Whatever “This” was. I was a little annoyed at the paramedics who didn’t seem to know about Michael. According to our team the local fire department would know about Michaels case and know what to do. There was no sense of urgency and that was unnerving. When we arrived at the ER they seemed so prepared for our arrival, this gave me some comfort. The head nurse was very compassionate and sensitive. She informed me that the doctor worked as an LVAD Heart failure specialist in UCLA and that also gave me comfort. The “comfort” was short lived here he speaks from across the room “Does he have a DNR?” What the heck?!? Reality smacks me across the face. “Lord, you are in control. Lord, be with Michael. Speak to him Lord” Show me what to do!”
Anthony had been calling family and all happens so fast. Michaels team at Cedars decide to life flight him and hopefully operate to see if they can save him. There is hope! At this point I am just trying to remember to breathe. So much happens in such short bursts of time that I lump it in clumps. For example: I know I was annoyed at the paramedics (they was no sense of urgency or empathy), I loved the ER people. The nurse jumped into action and if it wasn’t for her they would not of been able to operate on Michael when they did. The ER doctor showed so much compassion and took the time to talk to us. I’m sure he was amazed by Michaels case. It truly was rare. My family jumped into action. They were all at Cedars waiting for us by the time we got there. My sister
Debbie had already been in the room were he was to be and anointed it with oil and prayer. Then we waited. We waited in the ICU waiting area. The waiting is where there is time to think and this
was so hard. Just as my knees started to weaken my sister caught me and pointed out the window she said “Look, there is Michael” He’s going to be ok” As the Helicopter landed right above our heads. It just so happened that the Helipad was right above us.
The rest is a blur of family and friends coming in praying for us. Discussions with the teams. So many decisions and opinions etc. Praying for every little thing, we watched God move obstacle after obstacle even in this hard moments that didn’t make sense.
Michael went into surgery and all we could do was pray for miracles and we needed several.
How do you not lose hope when all looks so hopeless? I couldn’t answer this at the moment, but I knew He would show me. Jesus would show me.
We had friends and family with us waiting for Michael while he was in surgery. This was nice to have, love surrounding us but there was this one special moment with a little boy named Kalani. His dad told him to share a scripture with me. Kalani doesn’t like to learn just a verse. He likes to learn the whole chapter! When he begins to recite all of Hebrews 11. This is known as the faith chapter. It talks about all the great men of faith. I just started crying. “ Yes Lord, OK I will still have faith no matter what this looks like” As he recited this whole chapter, I knelt down beside him, took his little hand and placed it on my head. I need this kind of faith.
Michael came out of surgery ok but it was going to be a waiting game to see how he responded. The family talked me into going home with Bill, I hadn’t slept in over 24 hrs. On the way home a friend calls me to tell me she had a word for me. In fact, being so tired, I wouldn’t of answered the phone expect for this particular friend went through such a trial with her son the year before regarding his brain as well. She proceeded to tell me she had be doing research for her 4th devotional she was writing and discovered some interesting information on the Eagle. She felt very impressed to share this information with me. At this point I am so open and hungry to hear from Jesus for word of wisdom, direction, comfort, that I listen very carefully to what she is telling me. This was hard being that I felt like I was in a dream state. She discovered that the Eagle is one of the only birds that knows when a storm is approaching. The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come, when the storm hits it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below the Eagle will rise above it. The eagle rises without having to flap its wings or work hard. It just spreads its wings.
We can not escape storms in life but we can use the winds to let it lift us higher, above the storm. My friend told me that this storm will take me to my next destination and all I need to do is rest on the Eagles wings. I never really got that poetic scripture until now. I have to get it. There is no storm like the one I am in now.
“But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31 NKJV
When I am feeling faint, I just need to mount up on His wings, He is flying high over this storm. There were many moments I felt very weak in the knees and weary going on very little sleep, it truly was supernatural. Every time I had a moment when I felt overwhelmed or weak I would go limp in a chair and just imagine myself climbing on the back of the Eagle. Laid out completely stretched resting. No work or effort needed. There was nothing we could do but pray and wait.
On day 5, the doctors told us that there was nothing more they could do. That Michael would tell us what he wants, his body would tell us, this was Thursday. So many details and also so many special moments. That evening Anthony decided to go to a local church, meanwhile I was in the room with Michael and I had a talk with him, I believed he could hear me, so I shared my heart with him and told him it was ok if he didn’t want to fight anymore, I felt the shift and still had peace. Anthony came back from church and shared he had been given two visions. The first vision was for Michael. I think he was holding on to hope and tried to interpret this vision but I knew what it meant. Even in this moment of preparation and confirmation for what was to come, I was flying high over this horrible storm. There was a shift and I guess maybe I was in the peaceful eye of the storm. That is what it felt like. I didn’t stop believing in miracles, but I knew it wasn’t my choice. If I could choose, my baby boy would not of gotten so sick to begin with! He would be living life happy and healthy.
Friday morning came and now we knew Michael had decided. Friday entails so much that in needs its own story. I will leave it for another time. Right now I am left with a giant question mark and a crack in my heart. It will take time to heal this crack as my Father so graciously answers my many questtions. This storm has left some damage for sure but it has also shown us the importance of family. A storm has a way of blowing away things that are not firmly rooted. Storms will come but He is the God that will take us above the storms. I am so thankful for friends and family that came along our sides through this difficult time. So very thankful, may The Lord use me and this storm, that I may make a difference in others lives.
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